Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Directed by: David Yates

Written by: Steven Kloves

Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, and every other actor that currently resides in England. Seriously.

If there was an Academy Award for best Harry Potter adaptation, David Yates would win it, hands down. It's not because he tried to stay as true to the book as possible, incorporating as much of the action and dialogue as he could, because that would be close to impossible. An exact adaptation of the 672 page novel would run approximately 5 hours, something that the short attention span of America could not tolerate. However, Yates and Steve Kloves, the screenwriter, wove a tale of brevity (as much as can be had with a Harry Potter movie) and beauty that made those two and a half hours fly (It helped that I missed all the previews. THAT shit pisses me off).
Visually, the movie was stunning. Hogwarts, as always, was masterfully presented as a mysterious and epic, ever-shifting and endless castle. This was accented by transitions into the Penseive (the bowl that Harry dunks his head into), that were thrilling to watch. The mood created by the cinematography was futher developed by a moving score that rose and fell with the action, subtly envoking tons of shit. Can't even describe it all right now. But take my word for it. It was epic.
Anyways, onto the acting. When did Ginny get hot? Holy shit....I'm glad she was in it a lot. And I'm not even going to discuss Emma Watson. You're thinking it, I'm thinking it, lets move on. Thank you.
I love how this review started out so seriously, and now look what I've done. As I started out saying, the concise nature of the movie was brilliant. The movie said nothing, yet everything at the same time. The story was furthered greatly, giving insight to Voldemort's past and the key to defeating him. But it took so fucking long to explain. But it didn't seem like that long. Yates just mind-fucked the hell out of me, and I loved every minute of it. And Ginny. And Hermoine. Not Ron. Go see it

- Reviewed by Greg Parker